Learn to say "NO"

A lot of people think that the hardest thing in the world is to refuse people to say no. Well you are also afraid to refuse because you don’t want to disappoint others. You feel so weird that you don’t know what they will think of you? If your answer is yes, then it is very sad because it means that you are one of the people pleasers.

Well, belatedly, it’s time for you to stop doing that. So now by just saying that you will not stop doing. You have to understand What are you going to find behind leaving it? So this summary will teach you how to say ‘NO now without hurting others’. It’s a wonderful line, you didn’t even hurt anyone and simply said NO also. So let’s know about this summary, which is called ‘The Art of Saying No’, How to Stand Your Ground, Reclaim Your Time and Energy, and Refuse to Be Taken for Granted-Without Feeling Guilty! Which is written by Damon Zahariades. And if we talk about this summary, then to learn this art first we have to understand the habit of making people happy. That is, when do you consider someone a good person? Is someone good when he is always ready to help? Are good people always trustworthy? Are they always looking to meet other people’s needs? A good man can have it all. But there is something hidden behind these good people. Their secret is that they are people pleasers. So author Damon Zahariades was also one of those people who found his happiness in making people happy.

Whenever someone asked him for help, he always said yes, Damon was always there for the people, which would make people happy. But in the end it made Demon sad. Whenever Damon said yes to others, it meant that every time Damon was saying no to himself, he had no time for himself. He was wasting his time, energy and all the money on others. So when will they meet their needs? The truth is that no one else but you have to fulfill your needs. Always putting the needs of others first creates anger and regret in you. Damon had reached a point where he started hating everyone he loved. His mental state had deteriorated but he realized some things. He could still help others. He just needed to think of himself first. It is not a bad thing to want people’s happiness. You can be present for others while taking care of your own happiness, right? You just have to think of yourself first. Just imagine. If there is such movement in the plane due to bad weather in flight, then the oxygen mask falls in front of you. In such a situation, if you help the other passenger to put on their mask first, then you run the risk of not getting oxygen. You will get hypoxia, that is, there will be a lack of oxygen in your body, so first you have to wear an oxygen mask yourself, only then you will be able to help others. Secondly, Damon learned to be asertive, that is, to say confidently and strictly what he wants to say without hesitation. What is this skill that everyone should master? This means that you will get your happiness and needs first, even if people do not support you. Third Damon understood why it was so difficult for him to say no.

Now you must be feeling that it is easier to say no to people. How difficult will it be to say a word after all? Damon realized that it was not difficult to say the word no, it was difficult to feel guilty after saying no. To be sorry

Now let’s talk about the reason for hesitation to refuse in the next chapter. Now it’s your turn to find out why you hesitate to deny. It is very important to understand this. In this way, you will stop blaming yourself. Remember that you can’t deny it so that you don’t regret it later. Or don’t feel bad.

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The first reason is that you are brought up by teaching that it is rude to say no to people. You also think that you will probably be insulting people by saying no. Looking at their face, you start thinking that they are angry or disappointed and this makes you feel very bad. But remember that there is nothing wrong with being in denial. Nothing is wrong to think about yourself first. Especially when you have so many things to do in your life. In fact, it will be the fault of the same person if he considers your refusal to be his own insult. It means that the person is taking this denial personally. He is unable to believe that you have your own priority, your own needs. As long as you deny love, you shouldn’t regret it at all. Can’t say no now,

The second reason behind this is that you lack self-esteem. We all have protection inside us, it fills you with doubt. It keeps reminding you that you are not as good as you think. That’s why you feel that your desire and need is nothing in front of the desire and need of others. Your value is nothing in front of the value of others. Everyone is busy achieving their dreams and doing very well in their life. You think that if you help them, you will feel important. That’s why you always say yes to them. But do you know? These are very wrong ideas. It doesn’t make any difference what you have achieved or what you haven’t. You are still very capable. You should get a chance to improve yourself. You have the right to think of yourself before others.

The third reason you can’t deny is that you don’t want to get into fights or arguments. That’s why Damon could not refuse. Damon used to be nervous about confronting someone, that’s why he used to say yes when he actually wanted to say no. If someone doesn’t like you then you feel very bad. You want everyone to like you but that’s impossible. When you turn down someone’s request and they get disappointed with the person, let them be. If you say yes, even if you really don’t want to say no, then you are giving that person more importance. In this way, you are ignoring your own feelings. And that can make you angry with yourself. It is difficult to get rid of the habit of always saying yes. So Damon got rid of it in small steps. Initially, he started saying no in a situation where he was not afraid of debate at all.

For example, if he passes a lot of sales person in a store and everyone asks him to buy some product, Damon use to refuse them. You will learn to deny your family, friends, and co-workers as well. Denying, and refusing is like exercising a muscle. The more you use it, the more stronger it will become. So what is the reason for denial? We have come to know the reason for that and now we know about those 10 strategies in which you can say no and that too without being guilty i.e. without regret.

So the first strategy is to be direct and straightforward. Talking straight and precise. Have you ever been in a situation where you have a lot of work to do? You have to finish a report and you have to give a presentation tomorrow. On top of that, you also have to have a serious discussion with your colleague. That is, you are in full tension and very busy, at the same time another colleague comes near your desk. And asks do you have time to help him? You get a little bit hesitant. You say that you are very busy and don’t know whether you will have time or not. Every time you don’t have to say that at all. People can try their best to put pressure on you with evasive replies and twisted talk. Your hesitation will give people a chance to force you to say yes. Instead, you should say clear when in denial. To put these factors clearly, say that you are sorry because you have no time at all. Have a good excuse ready too. The next person may not believe your excuse but you have to be direct and deny honesty and respect.

Now comes the second strategy, which is that you do not have to ask for time. This is similar to the first strategy. Sometimes you just want to muster up the courage to say no. You tell the person that you need more time to think about his request, even if your answer is not already ready. You ask for time and think that by this you will not have to face or argue with that person. But you shouldn’t be too late to say no. There are three reasons behind this.

The first reason is that asking for time will encourage the vale to ask for help. He will expect that you will say yes because you are taking your time, but when you finally refuse, he may get angry and he is not completely wrong because by asking for time, you have set his expectation. And wasted his time too.

The second reason is that if you procrastinate, it will give that person full opportunity to put pressure on you and you will be forced to say yes.

The third reason is that you are reducing the productivity of both yourself and the next person. You will waste time thinking about saying no. And that person will also waste his time waiting for your yes. If you refuse immediately, he will be able to ask someone else for help instead of waiting for you.

The third strategy is to use another word instead of no. Most people are sensitive. Many of them also give negative reactions when rejected. You just have to change the way you say no.

For example, Your uncle asks you to take him to the airport. Usually saying no and giving reasons is enough, but your uncle is a sensitive person. If you can be angry with him, then you can deny it in another way. You can say that you want to take them to the airport but you have a very important project task that you have to tackle. You can also say that you have been given a deadline to finish it and if it is not completed on time, then it will lose the trust of many people in you. By refusing in this way, the person in front realizes that you have already been committed. This will tell them that you already have a responsibility that you cannot give up.

Now let’s talk about the fourth strategy, which is to stop trying to give excuses. You may face the fourth strategy against the third strategy. But remember that the third strategy applies only to those people who cannot be silenced by excuses. Giving excuses to such people can backfire.

Now let’s talk about the fifth strategy, which is to take responsibility for your decisions. When someone asks you to do something for them, you say I can’t. Now, this can cause problems. You have the ability to give your money, energy or time to someone, but you decide you can’t help. In a way, you say that your decision is not in your hands, you are saying that the option of helping is beyond your control. Just imagine saying I can’t is like putting the onus on something or someone else. Like you are saying that you cannot do anything because of someone else. Instead of saying I can’t start saying I don’t want to. It strengthens your right to your decision.

The sixth strategy is asking the requesters to ask again later is not a strategy to delay. This is a strategy you can use when someone asks you for help urgently.

For example, your colleague comes to the office in a hurry and says that he has an important job and needs your help, but you are also handling your work at that time, so you tell him that you cannot help him right now, But if he still needs help after 4:00 PM then you will be free to help him. But do make sure that the offer you have is not really true. Your colleague may need help in the evening as well. Saying so shows that you want to help too. This is an effective strategy as it gives you the first priority. By the way, remember that if they follow up and come to ask you again, you are not forced to say yes.

The seventh strategy is to avoid lying about your availability. We have already talked about how lying should never be a strategy. It is easy to lie, and it is also easy to get a fake doctor’s appointment, but it can harm you in the future. You keep on blaming yourself for the reason. You feel like you don’t want to help so just saying no is not enough. If you don’t think about your wants and needs then who will?

The eighth strategy is to give an option Suppose you want to help your friend, he has to complete his research paper, but you also have a lot of work. You can’t just give up your responsibilities, so you suggest to him about people who can help him. Maybe you have another friend who also has to write a research paper. Suppose your same friend had asked you for help earlier as well. Last month she asked you to help organize a charity and this month she is asking you to help with her research paper. If you do not have the time and energy to help both of you, then ask your friend to choose the option on his own. Ask her which one she needs more help with because while you both can’t help, it will make her realize that you have your own priorities. You don’t necessarily have to do this. Offering an option is just goodwill and only offer it if you really want to help.

The ninth strategy is to name another person who is better qualified or knowledgeable. Even if you want to help, there is something stopping you from doing so. You realize that there is someone else who can help your friend better than you.

The tenth strategy is to explain your bandwidth constraints. This is the strategy that Damon often uses. They have a to-do list for their daily chores and it is usually full of tasks and activities. They have many tasks to do like meeting family and fulfilling social responsibility.

So these were the ten strategies where you can say no without regret. So how easy and how difficult is it to say no and in what situations how can you say no and what can you say instead of saying no? We learned all these things but they work, let us repeat once again what we learned finally and do we have to take steps? So the issue is such that

First of all, you learned that you have to give up the habit of pleasing others. Always saying yes to people is like not obeying your own desires and needs. You cannot say no to people, so you have to spend more time, energy, and money.

Secondly, you learned that it is better to deny clearly people. This will also make you understand that you want to think of yourself first. This is not to degrade anyone, nor to insult anyone. The reason for the denial is simply that what matters most to you is yourself.

Third. Knowing about the reasons behind your inability to refuse, it is important to find out the reasons. That way you can find out why you find it hard to deny.

Fourth, you have to know about many strategies that will help you in denial. Always speak clearly and directly. Never lie to avoid arguments or fights. Even if the person in front gets angry, he will stick to his decision. If you want to help but can’t, give him an option. Whatever you do, it is important to do it with respect. If the person in front loses his temper. You don’t have to match him, it can be difficult to stand up for yourself. It is easy to please other people. If they are happy then you are happy, aren’t you? But it is very difficult to live your whole life like this. It’s time to think about yourself first. If you think about yourself then you will not be called selfish. It is not selfish to put oneself before others. You are only giving priority to what you want. Because if you don’t take care of you then who else will?

So come on, we have to help others, but first of all it is necessary to help ourselves, so this summary is completed right here. How did you like this summary? Definitely tell me, then keep a lot of your attention first, then everyone else’s attention.

Always be happy, keep smiling and start saying no without guilt.

Learn to say “NO”

Now you must be feeling that it is easier to say no to people. How difficult will it be to say a word after all? Damon realized that it was not difficult to say the word no, it was difficult to feel guilty after saying no. To be sorry

The second reason is that if you procrastinate, it will give that person full opportunity to put pressure on you and you will be forced to say yes.

The third strategy is to use another word instead of no. Most people are sensitive. Many of them also give negative reactions when rejected. You just have to change the way you say no.

Now let’s talk about the fourth strategy, which is to stop trying to give excuses. You may face the fourth strategy against the third strategy. But remember that the third strategy applies only to those people who cannot be silenced by excuses. Giving excuses to such people can backfire.

The sixth strategy is asking the requesters to ask again later is not a strategy to delay. This is a strategy you can use when someone asks you for help urgently.

The ninth strategy is to name another person who is better qualified or knowledgeable. Even if you want to help, there is something stopping you from doing so. You realize that there is someone else who can help your friend better than you.

The tenth strategy is to explain your bandwidth constraints. This is the strategy that Damon often uses. They have a to-do list for their daily chores and it is usually full of tasks and activities. They have many tasks to do like meeting family and fulfilling social responsibility.

First of all, you learned that you have to give up the habit of pleasing others. Always saying yes to people is like not obeying your own desires and needs. You cannot say no to people, so you have to spend more time, energy, and money.

Secondly, you learned that it is better to deny clearly people. This will also make you understand that you want to think of yourself first. This is not to degrade anyone, nor to insult anyone. The reason for the denial is simply that what matters most to you is yourself.

Third. Knowing about the reasons behind your inability to refuse, it is important to find out the reasons. That way you can find out why you find it hard to deny.

So come on, we have to help others, but first of all it is necessary to help ourselves, so this summary is completed right here. How did you like this summary? Definitely tell me, then keep a lot of your attention first, then everyone else’s attention.

Always be happy, keep smiling and start saying no without guilt.

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Now you must be feeling that it is easier to say no to people. How difficult will it be to say a word after all? Damon realized that it was not difficult to say the word no, it was difficult to feel guilty after saying no. To be sorry

The second reason is that if you procrastinate, it will give that person full opportunity to put pressure on you and you will be forced to say yes.

The third strategy is to use another word instead of no. Most people are sensitive. Many of them also give negative reactions when rejected. You just have to change the way you say no.

Now let’s talk about the fourth strategy, which is to stop trying to give excuses. You may face the fourth strategy against the third strategy. But remember that the third strategy applies only to those people who cannot be silenced by excuses. Giving excuses to such people can backfire.

The sixth strategy is asking the requesters to ask again later is not a strategy to delay. This is a strategy you can use when someone asks you for help urgently.

The ninth strategy is to name another person who is better qualified or knowledgeable. Even if you want to help, there is something stopping you from doing so. You realize that there is someone else who can help your friend better than you.

The tenth strategy is to explain your bandwidth constraints. This is the strategy that Damon often uses. They have a to-do list for their daily chores and it is usually full of tasks and activities. They have many tasks to do like meeting family and fulfilling social responsibility.

First of all, you learned that you have to give up the habit of pleasing others. Always saying yes to people is like not obeying your own desires and needs. You cannot say no to people, so you have to spend more time, energy, and money.

Secondly, you learned that it is better to deny clearly people. This will also make you understand that you want to think of yourself first. This is not to degrade anyone, nor to insult anyone. The reason for the denial is simply that what matters most to you is yourself.

Third. Knowing about the reasons behind your inability to refuse, it is important to find out the reasons. That way you can find out why you find it hard to deny.

So come on, we have to help others, but first of all it is necessary to help ourselves, so this summary is completed right here. How did you like this summary? Definitely tell me, then keep a lot of your attention first, then everyone else’s attention.

Always be happy, keep smiling and start saying no without guilt.

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